~Find Rest My Soul~

I am reading a book right now called "Invitations from God." It's really incredible. It is making me realize how I have set myself for failure in a lot of ways. Given myself unrealistic tasks that I was never really ment to tackle alone and in this way.

We have stopped having a Sabbath day of rest in our family... when we had one we didn't even really feel it was restful. We have so strayed from the idea of rest. We have taken on the work work work identity that gets you recognition, attention, and acknowledgment and put aside the rest work rest mentality that we were made to live with. We were made to work and to rest and to follow the rhythm setup by the Creator.

When God created the world he made it in 7 days. He could have taken one I assume. He could have "powered through" and "pressed on." He choose to work in the day, "and then there was evening and morning." I work day and evening, and morning, and Sabbath too! I work work work because that is how I think I will be happiest. Then my body aches with neck and back pain and I feel overwhelmed and unhappy and I wonder why!

We are starting an intentional journey into resting again. I have to figure out (pray about) managing things like chores, phone calls, emails, facebook, ISR business stuff, etc. without keeping the backbreaking and ungodly pace at which I have been traveling. I need to rest!

9 Weeks Old is so Much Fun!

It's like he fully woke up this week! He has long periods of alert time now where he just looks at you and smiles! His gassiness is so much better, he hardly grunts if at all! He smiles and looks for me when he hears my voice if I have been out for a little while. It's such a wonderful feeling to have your baby respond to you in such a loving way. It's incredible how I already forget things too! I already forget what it felt like when they first handed him to me in the hospital- it already seems like he was always the size he is now... I can't remember holding him being smaller... how do we forget so quickly? Anyway, I am enjoying every minute I can- soaking it all up! I love my boys!

Healing Prayer

The past few months I have been learning a lot about the Lord, and myself, and how to hear His voice more clearly and to trust Him to know what is best. I have been meeting with a friend for Inner Healing Prayer. It's pretty simple when you look at it from afar, but it's intense... and pretty amazing to experience. Basically my humble description would be that it is a prayer meeting, usually one on one, where you have someone who is experienced in this ministry walk you through praying to the Lord to ask for the roots/memories/reasons-behind something you are feeling or going through. The other person is basically there to intercede for you in prayer or to help you focus or lead you deeper into asking the Lord for more clarity about what you are praying over.

It's amazing the things the Lord has revealed to me, and especially the fruit in my life from getting healed of things. Sometimes I will have a memory come to mind and I think "this can't possibly be from the Lord, it's a pointless memory," then I'll have another memory come to mind and little by little as the Lord reveals things, as we pray, I realize that it is all connected and it all makes sense! It's incredible. As a result I am beginning to trust myself more and more that I do indeed hear and know the voice of the Lord. Sometimes I even think it is my own thoughts and it's actually the Lord speaking... it's hard to explain something so deeply personal, but it's amazing.

I think everyone should have this experience. I think we should all be seeking the deepest possible level of spiritual healing. In this way we are less offended with one another (because we recognize that where others are acting out, they too are wounded and in of healing just like us), we are less co-dependant (because we learn to lean on the Lord for our emotional needs), we stop looking for and fishing for approval from others (because we learn to listen for the voice of truth about who we are and what He thinks of us). I can imagine what it would like to live in community with people who felt healed and whole and did not depend on one another in an un-healthy way, but leaned on the Lord and enjoyed the blessing of what community was supposed to mean. With no expectations on each other, with abundant grace, with understanding and forgivingness flowing like a faucet rather than at a drip. Where people felt free to be themselves- faults and flaws and all. Where we can say "no" and "yes" to the thousands of invitations that come our way each day (babysit, watch TV, pray, have lunch together, call me back, text me back, take a nap, clean the house, run errands, blog... whatever) without wondering if we still seem "Holly."

I am thankful that my God heals. That salvation means more than "getting into heaven." So much more than that- it means healing and freedom and "kingdom-come" life even now. We are all missing out on so much when we miss out on being healed. My prayer is that the enemy will not have His way. That instead we will all unashamedly admit that we are in need and seek out the healing that God so generously gives.

Evan brings in the New Year!

I am in love! I have two beautiful boys and 2012 couldn't be off to a better start!

Evan was born at 2:32am on January 12th 2012 after only 2 hours of labor! I woke Joey up at 12:30am, not convinced that this was "it." My water broke (I assume) when I felt a POP in my belly like a balloon at 1:30. Then we worked on getting out the door to the hospital. By the time we arrived we had about 10 minutes to "settle in" before Evan was in my arms! What a wonderful blessing!

Aaron is adjusting well as far as we can tell! I think he really loves his new brother. He is changing daily and growing so much in maturity (as well as physically). We have started "homeschooling" now and he knows a little bible memory verse from 2 Thessilonians "Stand Firm" and it is precious. He is learning his letters and their sounds, mostly from The Letter Factory on Leapfrog. He is learning shapes and colors and we are adding in calendar time and the weather to our school day.

He speaks full sentences and talks all the time! "Common Mama, sit down" he says when he is watching a movie and wants me to sit with him. He is such a compassionate boy. He loves to pray for his friends and family. He is tender hearted and sweet. I am so blessed to be his Mom. He knows Joey and my names now, so if we don't hear him calling us he will switch from "Mommy" to "Jen!" and it cracks me up! I am in awe of him. He is sleeping in his big boy bed (again). He used to sleep in it, but I just wasn't ready to have him in that bed with all the unknown and intensity of waiting for Evan to arrive and being pregnant and a little emotional about how big my "baby" is getting. But now I need him to be in that bed, and feel ready for it, since soon Evan will need the crib. The last thing I want is for Aaron to feel he is being kicked out.

The next big thing on our schedule will be this weekend! We are potty training Aaron on Sunday! I am so excited for him! I really think he is ready! We will go buy some special underwear this weekend and then on Sunday is the "Big Day."

Evan is a sweet heart! I am so smitten with him. He was born 7lb 1oz (smaller than Aaron was) and is already 14lb at 7 weeks! What a good eater! His cheeks are amazing and his rolls are wonderful! I love my little chub-ster. He is a gassy boy, so we are working on trying to find a solution to that so he can be more comfortable, but otherwise it has been a smooth transition. It is amazing how in 7 short weeks life can be so routine after so much change! I am really getting the hang of having two babies (yes, I still consider Aaron my baby... probably always will!). Potty training Aaron will really (potentially) help make things a little easier (and cheaper!).

The boys looked so much alike at birth and as newborns, it's unbelievable! Check it out!

(Left) Evan...

(Right) Aaron...

Evan...

Aaron...

I love those boys! And just for good measure- here are some more pictures of sweet little Evan!

Well, off to bed! Who knows how much sleep will be in store for me tonight! I am so thankful that I have a child to keep me awake. Not everyone has that blessing! I am thankful that I have messes to clean, dishes to wash, toys to put away and diapers to change. It all means that I have a family and the season that I am in right now I would not change or fast forward for anything!

Peace that Surpasses Understanding Comes from the Lord

I have always felt a connection with the verse "...and the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus." I am so thankful for the Lord's peace. As I await the pending arrival of our second son, Evan Hyson, I realize that peace only comes from Him.

There is no way of predicting when labor will begin. You can try, but you can't really know. I don't know what time it will be, what day, where I will be when it starts, how fast the intensity of the contractions will progress, or what twists and turns this labor will have. I don't know if it will be nap time for Aaron, the middle of the night, while we are playing at home or around town. I don't really know anything. So what do you do when you don't know the answers? You ask the Lord!

So I asked the Lord: "Lord, what will labor be like? When will it happen? Will I need a C-section? Will I be able to get through it without an epidural? Will I be joyful? Will Evan be healthy? Will there be any complications? What time will it be? Will I labor at the hospital much- or at home?..." the list goes on. The Lord answered my questions in this way:

"This is what you need to know, I will be with you. I will be in control. You can trust me."

I don't know if you realize what amazing provision this is and what peace it brings. It means that I do not need to know the details. Whatever is going to happen is not for me to worry about or consider. I get to rest in the knowledge that my Abba Father is going to take care of me. Not the nurses, the midwife, the OB's, or even Joey, but the Creator of Life- the Author of it all! The one who designed the very essence of my being, my body, my mind, my soul, the world I live in- He has a plan, He will be with me every step of the way, and He is so very trustworthy! This brings me peace more than anything else could have.

In the mean time He has been so gracious and generous to me with Aaron, our first son. We have had many holy, special, incredible moments this week just being in each others presence; some of our last times as mother and only-child. Tonight he ran to my bedroom while I was finishing up cleaning the kitchen and climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin and sat patiently waiting for me. When I came in he shouted "Mommy!" and smiled his big, beautiful smile. I crawled into bed next to him and we talked about everything we did today. He repeated each event after me- his way of telling me he remembered it. And we sat together, just talking and enjoying each other's presence. He was not ready to go to sleep (I can't say I blame him, even I felt like this was such an enjoyable time that bedtime seemed like an invasion of the beauty), so I asked if he wanted to go read his bible with me--- this always gets him! He jumped up and climbed out of bed, asking me to hold his hand as we walked together to his bedroom to read the Word of God and prepare for sleep. He went right to bed afterward and I couldn't help but praise the One who made that precious boy and gave him to Joey and I, for a time.

So many moments this week- the past [almost] two years really- so many moments that I will cherish forever. I hope I never forget. I hope I never forget the feeling of Aaron climbing into our bed in the morning and snuggling up right to my face, throwing his arms tightly around my neck, "Mama!," and wiggling as close as he can get. I hope I remember how it feels to be his Mama at every age and I hope I enjoy every minute of it. I hope the Lord allows me to always be a part of his and Evan's life and I hope they live long lives with days, months and years of passionate Love for Christ because of their knowledge of His love for them.

It's Almost Over!

2011 is almost over! Christmas has come and gone and I am 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant... It's all coming to an end! The year, this pregnancy, and being a mom of one! I am so excited for the changes that are approaching! Evan seems to be ready to make his arrival sooner than later- I already have a pretty good amount of contractions daily and I just have a feeling he's going to be an early bird like his big brother! That will be convenient in that it gives us time to adjust and settle in before ISR Swim Season starts! 2012 is going to be quite a year!

I can't get over how much I love my boy, and how much I know I will adore having another sweet little man around! Aaron is a chatterbox and such a delight! When I take him with me to appointments or out and about, people always comment on how sweet and well behaved he is. We are so blessed by this fearfully and wonderfully made little man of God.

Joey and I toke part in a wedding a few weeks ago- it was so much fun! Heather and Troy are now officially The Dinesdales, and we had a lovely day away to be a part of the bridal party and groomsmen respectively.

We celebrated an early Christmas in Orlando with the Myers and it was so much fun! We went to Downtown Disney on Friday- who knew you could have so much fun for free! We went into all the store and Aaron played with everything in sight. We checked out all the Lego statues and enjoyed a lovely dinner at the Rainforest Cafe!

In the picture above, Aaron is amazed during the lightning storm and the gorillas and elephants are all coming to life! He also had the best seat in the house with the fish tank behind him and the animals all around! It was a great dinner!

Aaron got all kinds of rockin' Elmo goodies from Nana! And we all spent the day at Sea World on Saturday.

These are Aaron's awesome new five finger shoes- just like Daddy!

The condo resort we stayed at had put-put golf, paddle boats, game rooms, basketball, pools galore, and so much to do! It was great!

Aaron got a new kitchen for Christmas from Mommy!

We went to the North Florida Regional Medical Center (where Aaron was born and, God willing, Evan soon will be too!) to check out the Christmas lights.

This year we spent our first Christmas in our own home. It was delightful! No traveling, no rushing around, just relaxing as a little family. It has been a great year!

Thanksgiving Came and Went!

I would venture to create a fake statistic that says that 90% of these blog titles revert back to the idea that life is flying by! Every time I get a chance (and the motivation) to post something I realize just how much has taken place since the last time. Yet many days feel slow and mundane. How can that be? A focus shift is certainly in order! Today is going to be a wonderful day!

Thanksgiving vacation was a wonderful excursion for our family! We traveled down to South Florida on Wednesday afternoon and though the trip took 7 hours instead of 5, Aaron did wonderfully (partly due, I'm sure, to the fact that we finally caved and turned his car seat on the way) and Joey and I had great conversations. It seemed to go by faster than many of the 5 hour trips we have had!

On Thursday morning we went to the beach. There was a playground across the street, and of course miles of sand and water to enjoy. Aaron loves it there.

Later we got dressed and ready for Thanksgiving Dinner (with 20 of our closest friends and family-hehehe) with many guests! The food was delicious and Aaron sat at the table with us for a very long while (part of which he watched Nemo on the laptop for). I got to spend time at the table with my brother, Nick, and Molly as well which is a rarity and therein a huge blessing!

On Friday we wanted to go to the beach but it was chili and windy, so we opted to stay in and have a little backyard photo-shoot- hence all the white-shirt photos scattered throughout this post!

And later we got to meet Papa Steve at the mall for some lunch and a Holiday Train Ride.

Saturday was our last day. Rather than hit the beach again we took a trip to Parrot Jungle Island! Aaron got to hold and feed parrots, hold a baby monkey, and do all kinds of ridiculously wonderful things! Joey and I were discussing on the ride home how crazy it is that Aaron has been able to do so much over such a short little lifetime! He has been sledding in snow, hiking, to the beach, to Disney (twice), to Sea World where he touched and fed dolphins and stingrays... and the list goes on. Thank you Lord for blessing us and allowing us to bless our son!

On a pregnancy note- I can't believe how different things are being pregnant with baby number two! I have hardly any pictures, had only one ultrasound, and even physically it is very different. I am very thankful that, after a second one-hour glucose test, I am gestational diabetes free this time! I can't tell you what a relief that is.

I am so excited to meet and hold Evan. I am 32 weeks now and, of course, I have no idea how much longer it will be... but I know it will be soon enough no matter what! I hope that I have what it takes to handle a second baby with grace, love and peace. I hope that I don't freak out or feel too overwhelmed. But I know that the Lord is going to be my strength and I pray that I will let Him be God and stick to my part of just being His child. If I can do that and trust in Him it will go well with me!

When we got home to Gainesville Saturday night we unpacked and settled in to bed. The next evening we did one of my favorite things! We decorated for Christmas. This year we are going to do the Jesse Tree Advent devotionals as we eagerly await the celebration of the birth of our savior! I can't wait to celebrate Christmas at home with our family this year and to remember what this season is really all about!