I have always felt a connection with the verse "...and the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus." I am so thankful for the Lord's peace. As I await the pending arrival of our second son, Evan Hyson, I realize that peace only comes from Him.
There is no way of predicting when labor will begin. You can try, but you can't really know. I don't know what time it will be, what day, where I will be when it starts, how fast the intensity of the contractions will progress, or what twists and turns this labor will have. I don't know if it will be nap time for Aaron, the middle of the night, while we are playing at home or around town. I don't really know anything. So what do you do when you don't know the answers? You ask the Lord!
So I asked the Lord: "Lord, what will labor be like? When will it happen? Will I need a C-section? Will I be able to get through it without an epidural? Will I be joyful? Will Evan be healthy? Will there be any complications? What time will it be? Will I labor at the hospital much- or at home?..." the list goes on. The Lord answered my questions in this way:
"This is what you need to know, I will be with you. I will be in control. You can trust me."
I don't know if you realize what amazing provision this is and what peace it brings. It means that I do not need to know the details. Whatever is going to happen is not for me to worry about or consider. I get to rest in the knowledge that my Abba Father is going to take care of me. Not the nurses, the midwife, the OB's, or even Joey, but the Creator of Life- the Author of it all! The one who designed the very essence of my being, my body, my mind, my soul, the world I live in- He has a plan, He will be with me every step of the way, and He is so very trustworthy! This brings me peace more than anything else could have.
In the mean time He has been so gracious and generous to me with Aaron, our first son. We have had many holy, special, incredible moments this week just being in each others presence; some of our last times as mother and only-child. Tonight he ran to my bedroom while I was finishing up cleaning the kitchen and climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin and sat patiently waiting for me. When I came in he shouted "Mommy!" and smiled his big, beautiful smile. I crawled into bed next to him and we talked about everything we did today. He repeated each event after me- his way of telling me he remembered it. And we sat together, just talking and enjoying each other's presence. He was not ready to go to sleep (I can't say I blame him, even I felt like this was such an enjoyable time that bedtime seemed like an invasion of the beauty), so I asked if he wanted to go read his bible with me--- this always gets him! He jumped up and climbed out of bed, asking me to hold his hand as we walked together to his bedroom to read the Word of God and prepare for sleep. He went right to bed afterward and I couldn't help but praise the One who made that precious boy and gave him to Joey and I, for a time.
So many moments this week- the past [almost] two years really- so many moments that I will cherish forever. I hope I never forget. I hope I never forget the feeling of Aaron climbing into our bed in the morning and snuggling up right to my face, throwing his arms tightly around my neck, "Mama!," and wiggling as close as he can get. I hope I remember how it feels to be his Mama at every age and I hope I enjoy every minute of it. I hope the Lord allows me to always be a part of his and Evan's life and I hope they live long lives with days, months and years of passionate Love for Christ because of their knowledge of His love for them.
No comments:
Post a Comment