Series of Moments

I am longing to be home with Aaron at this point. Literally LONGING. I can't wait! I know that he is already and has always been with me all the time, but we NEVER slow down. We are constantly on the go. Work is too early for him and I always have to wake him up for the car ride. He is such a trooper, such a sweet and flexible little man, but I am ready to be DONE. I am so thankful for the provision that the Lord has made both financially (with Joey's raise) and practically (with Lindsey there to take my place at the preschool). Every once in a while I look over at Aaron and see a smile or smirk or giggle or look that just makes me think "I don't want to forget this moment." I don't want to miss these moments and I want to have just a little bit more time in each day to notice and enjoy them. Thank you Jesus that the time is almost here! I know that my "job" of being home is going to be overwhelming in it's own way, but I am going to do my best to discipline myself to slow down sometimes too. Hold me accountable friends :)
Tonight we went to the gold driving range. So much fun! I stink at golf, but Joey is such an athlete he is good at everything! Aaron was such a good boy! He LOVED watching Daddy hit the ball SUPER far! What a blessing he is to us! Thank you Jesus!

A Kick in the Stomach

My best friend is gone. She moved to Utah. It feels like I got kicked in the stomach. I am afraid we'll drift apart. It seems like all of the friends God puts in my life are so interim. Joey says "you'll be together forever in eternity anyway, you'll get to see each other a lot so you may as well spend time with other people now." lol. Oddly enough that does make me feel better about it. I miss her already. I know once I stop working it will really set in. I can't wait to be done with work, but I can wait for that feeling to come. I miss my friend.

Sweet as Cherry Pie

We traveled to Palm Beach Gardens and Miami with Aaron for the first time last weekend. He slept like a champ every night, but was NOT a fan of the car ride there. It was a lot of fun getting to see my mom and Warren and their new home. Aaron LOVED the fire works! He was the only kid there who wasn't crying when they started. He coo'ed and ooo'ed and aaaahh'd. He stared at them the entire time. We have a video of it and if I figure out how to upload one I will add that later.

Today was a whirl wind. Most days are right now. Work, play, hopefully a shower, and some rest in there too. Our friends, Joy and her hubby Wes, are staying with us for a few weeks. Today she taught me to make a cherry pie from scratch! Joy also taught me to use her sewing machine today. I hemmed a pair of pants that have had safety pins in them for 2 years! It was so easy I was amazed! Now, of course, I really want a sewing machine. Joey says it's not a great idea because I get into something new almost every day right now. I keep tossing around ideas. It's such a transitional time. It's hard to be patient and see what I am supposed to do vs. what I feel like doing in that moment. I know that I am already so busy, but I can think of all these cute things I would love to sew. That would be something I think I would enjoy: a therapy. But, again, Joey reminds me that all the fabric and threads and whatnots cost more money. Money is so annoying sometimes.

On a separate note: This girl walked into work this week and she is quite literally a God send. I know that she will be perfect to take over my position and I hope that this means a quicker departure than previously planned. I may be able to start training her NEXT WEEK! Thank you Lord!

Here is the documented master piece and creation process that inspired this entry:

Wipe the Sweat off My Brow

Wow, things are challenging right now.
Work is hard.
Balancing Mommy-hood and working is hard.
Being a Christian is hard.
Standing up for righteousness is hard.
Keeping up with my new online class I am taking is hard.
Being honest is hard.
Speaking up is hard.
Being a wife is hard.
But Jesus is faithful and life is still good! I am feeling His presence more than before and I know that He is using me daily. It feels so good to be ALIVE. Like truly ALIVE. Where you know you have to repent every night because you know you have messed up a million times... but you REPENT and you KEEP ON GOING. It feels so good. Being with Aaron is amazing. Having him in my life is incredible. I am so in love with Joey and the fact that Aaron is a mixture of us both is just beyond words. So I am going to press on relying on the strength of my savior. He is good. Life is good. Things are good.

Sweet Things and a Beach Trip

We took our first little trip to the beach with Aunt AA, Nana, Nomie, and Jim's mom, earlier this month, here are some pictures. It was a COLD day, so Aaron spent most of the time in the van! Though I did take him out for a few pictures of course!

Aaron's little toes curled up off the cold sand...

Nathan lounging...

Naomi drawing...

Nathan driving...

I can't believe how fast Aaron is growing! He is holding his head up so well and he loves standing up when you hold him. He sleeps 7 and a half hours consistently, he is such a good baby! He started sleeping this long a week ago and hasn't skipped a single night! We put him to bed at 10 or so when we go to bed and he wakes up around 5:30. I feed him and he goes right back to sleep till around 8 or 9! Especially nice on the weekends. Couldn't ask for a better child. He smiles so much now, still hasn't really laughed much since he first did it a few weeks ago. That seems to be how he rolls. He does something new one time, then takes some time off, then starts doing 24/7 out of nowhere. I did not think we would still have him in our room at this point, but we feel like we're just not ready. I'll give him till 5 months I think. That's what our friend Kreshelle has done with her 6 children and they are just fine in their own rooms now. I was thrilled when Joey said that he would miss Aaron if he weren't in our room any more. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

We just got a jogging stroller as a Mother's Day gift from my mom and I am excited to take it for a spin. Tonight we are going to feed the homeless. Aaron is such a little missionary already! He's been to all kinds of Holy Spirit led events and he's only 11 weeks old!



He is starting to get a little bored at work I think, hopefully I can come up with something for him to do! Any suggestions are welcome, space there is very limited!

Sometimes it's hard...

Sometimes it's hard to remember who you are in Christ. To remember that you were made with a purpose and that you should not be dependent on or hold anything else about Him who created you. Sometimes you find your identity in who others say you are. Sometimes you are a mom, or a friend, or a co-worker. Ultimately I am a Christian. I am a Christ follower. I am loved by the King and He has good plans for me.

It is amazing to me that I continue to lack faith and trust in the Lord. I sometimes even go so far as to believe lies about Him. Believing at times that whatever I pray for will let Him know where I am most vulnerable and that He may test my faith by taking that thing from me. A friend shared that she was feeling that way too and it hit me: I realized that in holding on to things (my child, my husband, my life) I am not free. Christ wants me to trust Him with these things because even if I choose not to trust Him with them He is still in control of them. So in that case it does no good anyway to think I can hold them. I can't keep things from God, they are His weather I surrender them or not. But also on the other hand, if I can willingly give it all to Him then I can be free from the bondage of feeling responsible for them.

In letting go I can be a mother because I realize that Aaron is not completely mine. I can be a wife because I know that if anything were to happen to him I lived the last day I had with him in FREEDOM and not in WORRY that he would be gone. And please understand that I do not feel I would be glad to release either of those things to the Lord if He decided it was best to take them. But I NEED to be at a place where I could draw near to Him in that time and believe the TRUTH. That He is still loving me in that.

I need to find my identity in Jesus. Even when I feel unwanted by loved ones I need to know that I am wanted by God. That HAS to be enough. People are not going to be able to provide for my needs. They are valuable, but not as valuable as Jesus. Sometimes it's hard to put people in their place in my life... a place that does not determine my worth. Sometimes it's hard, but I am hanging on the promise that Jesus is always here with me.

Update and Our First Day of Work

Today was Aaron and my first day of work together. It went very well. There is plenty for me to contemplate and worry about, of course.
Aaron is so little and will be continuously changing in need, schedule, and personality, BUT I have decided that I will take one day at a time, enjoy work and Aaron both, and if a problem arises with the ability to do both, Aaron will win battle of course. I am going to do my best at work to balance things out and we will just have to see how it goes.
Today at work was a good day, Aaron was wonderful, but his schedule is a little off. He eats, gets a new diaper, stays awake a little, sleeps, wakes up, then eats a little later (not quite the eat, wake, sleep goal, but good enough. Especially since he seems to sleep more and wake less from 7am through around 3pm and is awake A LOT more from 3pm-10pm. He has slept a maximum of 6 hours strait, but that only happened one night.
Our friends Monica and David had their baby last week. exactly 6 weeks after Aaron was born. He is the same size Aaron was, and now Aaron seems so big! It makes me a little sad. Aaron is about 11.5 pounds this week! He will be 7 weeks old on Thursday (today is Tuesday). Time is flying and he is growing so fast! He was very tiny for only such a short while! I miss my tiny, tiny baby, but I love that he is stronger and that means I have less fear for him.

We had a great time at Disney, by the way, exhausting as it was! We went to the Magic Kingdom and to Epcot and stayed two nights in a hotel. Aaron did wonderfully. Dakota ran away while we were gone, but was found by a neighbor. Carlos got to take a nice little nap with Aaron before we left.

Family life is going well. Will update more another time. Now to, once again, attempt a nap!